I am on the iMac today! Low-lit room, just the natural light of the sun sneaking in. Sipping iced coffee from Starbucks in the grocery. Alot is going on in my life and it all has a part to play in my artwork. It's true that this is coming through in the format of a blog on a free website. The Studio is a blog feed on a free website but that doesn't change anything about what it is and what it does and what it can do. I mentioned taking my work to a gallery or a museum. I am not at a museum level. More to the point though I am exploring how this work that I am doing here can live in a traditional setting such as a gallery space. In The Studio here I am able to create a stream of energetic repose that fuels the introspection of the soul of the reader into delving deeper into the nature of our creation and coming out of it with a feeling of mastery and wonder. Mastery of the chaos of the self. Wonder of the chaos of the self. Courage to undertake an art that is without form and which stands almost contrary to the term art itself yet paradoxically supports it anew and brightens parts of the human psyche that have hitherto not been alighted in this way.
I am familiar with the development of art history. I have seen to the development of consciousness and individuality over the centuries through life circumstances, cultures and individual discovery for example in the sciences. To work here in a purely not only digital non-material space but to refrain from imagery and spectacle while not strictly 'writing' per se is the challenge with The Studio. It is about the subtle transitions of the soul, of the person and the words, again, simply reflect those movements. Someone recently made it sound as if this sharing here had the boredom of another person's dream. That was my interpretation of what they were saying anyway. Traditional art has become that in part for me. Viewing paintings for example does not hold the same type of super fascination as it once did. That is a big part of why I have searched out a different, novel way of creating and sharing artwork.
That said, I know that I have limitiations. That I am trying to be an artist while also being a manager at a retail store and that it is sad for me to have art become a hobby even though I would rather it be there somehow in my life than not at all. It is too weird when there is no art in my life. Art comforts me. Art provides a theme for my life. This current position I hold as a job is not the same as my devotion to art. All the time I have given to the viewing, the making and the writing about art. It is immense. Also, philosophy, literature, science and so on. This space here on this site is very much the only space I have to work. To work on art. Real art. And to dive deeper into the horizon of artistic presence and flurry.
I'm off from my job, though the work there is never done. It's getting confusing the art with the management and vice versa. They both strengthen the soul but in different ways. The management is like a salvation. It is almost a necessary component of my life that instills order and structure to an otherwise...well...I could have a very strong presence in the art world alone if I could get myself in order and learn to share my work more and with the vigor I get from making it. This, again, right here, this writing IS the work. The nature of my life at this point is a very strange one in that I am very strong given my position at Goodwill and my vision for my art. Those two things are appearent. However, there is something eating away at me at a core level that is saying MAKE THE WORK YOU KNOW and DON'T BE PUT OFF BY THE JOB AT GOODWILL IN YOUR PURSUIT OF A HIGHER SELF THROUGH ART. The reality is that I would be for all intents and purposes lost if I were not to have a job that I care about through Goodwill. I cannot let that confound me. I refuse for that to happen, BUT, I long for a deeper connection with myself than simply managing a store. A store on its own is something sort of interesting but it does not hold for me a wonder of the deepest proportions. When I walk through an art museum, I get that sense of austere wonder and deep historical continuity. Goodwill is great. Art is my home. I WANT TO LIVE A TRUE LIFE!! Just break down the walls and have the currents flow!
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!