I'm sick of the feeling that my artwork is not enough however it is. How it is is how it is. Its development is evidently something that does not adhere to any single medium. And currently after many a painting, drawing, song, story and sculpture, my work has become this self challenge, this reckoning of myself with myself. This is part of the art. This reflection is my artwork. Someone I met in an online forum for discussion on fine art told me, well more than one person was sceptical about this creative writing being art. Their reasons were things like it's not original or it's conceptual art which in their opinion is no good. One said there needs to be an object involved. All of it was trying to nail down a strong blowing wind. A storm. A breeze. A zephyr. I am learning about myself now. What I really want and need in art and real artists. I am hollow. My will to make anything that is, well no wait this is crafted, crafted from within. I don't know what a soul is. I know I'm really doing my best to keep my faith in art alive and as it has wavered it has not left me. This is my contribution to art, this is my art. No one can tell you what is art and what is not. That is something you must seek out on your own, something you feel. Talking about what art is can be art. Art can come from anywhere, from anything. And this work that I am doing now is about, well, seeking the self, asking what self is and how it develops. Big self, little self, like Self and self and so on. There was another person from the online forum that talked of an irreducible 'I'. Something like perhaps there is no 'I' that we can reduce our experience down to, that life, a human life is more dynamic than that. You know it is scary to think of art without a painting or a sculpture or especially a song or video. But then I think of me in a gallery, just sitting at a table with a chair across from me, there to talk, to exchange soul energy with others, people who want an experience not a thing. It'd be good to do art again, live. To think that everything a person does could be art, I mean everything. That's scary. I don't know if I could handle that.
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!