Wonder

Originally transmitted August 29th 2015 via my iPhone.

I'm writing from Starbuck's today, just got out of work. I have a book about Cezanne with me which has something about Einstein in it. I'm thinking about loosening up a little while focusing in on what is essential to my work here in the studio. I think of Van Gogh and his letters and this space now seems like a tremendous opportunity for me to compile my thoughts, discoveries, epiphanies, feelings, inspirations and such. I do still believe that this writing is a part of my artwork just as everything that I do goes into what it is I really end up saying. In the words of KMFDM "emit and defend your emotions cause they send out the message that is you and that's the only thing that's true."

I want this to be a place that I can speak openly and freely in in order to craft a deeper connection with the human power that is unique in me yet which everybody has. I'm talking about the universal power to discern wonder and awe. Or to be directly a part of the wonder and awe.

My feeling is still that I can be an artist by cultivating in an artly conscious way my self, my character, myself as a person. This is the art which truly matters. The wonder boggles the mind. The heart inspires it. The breath commands and is then commanded by it, this wonder from whence we, by which we, through which we move. The paradox being that we are in perpetual motion yet we never leave our body. The art of thinking is here what I wish to pursue. A place where thought and feeling begin to blend. I can become one with the mystery, with all that came 'before' and all that is 'yet to come', all that is, all that is right now. What was when I wrote this mixed with the what is of the time of reading it. I have a lot to say I guess. I can imagine this very site being a 'place' where people can come to learn, about me yes but also just go through the expressed joy of pure knowledge! That is what I wish for you dear reader as much as I wish it for myself. I just have to believe in myself enough like you do as well, in me and you, in that wonder that binds us, which space and time and spacetime will never really go.

I am inspired to write and share my creations with others and a kind of self doubt has brought me into the virtual and yet the virtual unlocks my transgression, if I'm using that word correctly. I still love music. I still get giddy when my idol Trent Reznor comes on broadcast television speaking for Apple music. I'm happy to have heard the new album by Atlas Genius this morning. Though it was actually through a program called Hoopla that operates in coordination with the public library system.

I have had an idea for a piece called Union which was simply the display of requests for books, CDs and other materials by different people of my interest. The requests print out my name in close proximity with the name of the people I request information from or about. It's a kind of record and also this leap board for unlocking a psychic connection with the work shared in the form of a book or otherwise. Not psychic like reading minds but like pure energy of the psyche. Wonder.

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