Sewing inner confidence

I am ecstatic about the internal liberation that's taking place within me as I explore the Spirits, Souls and Ghosts more and more deeply. I am excited to see just how far I can go with these 3 forms or shapes. I thought of Johnny Cash recently who said he did it with 3 chords. I'm doing it with 3 shapes, forms characters. The variations are endless and surprising myself while staying true to the unspeakable personal truth that was birthed upon the insertion of these 3 forms as such, spirit, soul and ghost.

I hope to do much work still. Song writing, with lyrics and chords and also music which could never be written. I have some work I still after all this time would like to share with an audience of art and music. I'm excited that what I have from the past which is more than it could have been is now taking place with the more recent and very recent work, art work.

If I could go back I would do things differently ...well that is just madness. My MFA chance wasn't a chance like THIS now here on this date to actually be an artist not just a formal student. Yes you can always be a student in life so to speak, a learner, but my goal has been to become an actual artist. Not just a student always on the verge of becoming an artist in stead of just taking and making the leap to be an artist first and a great one if I can manage it.

I am really into numbering my work now for organizational purposes. Not just organization in the small sense but a deep rich organization akin to the creation of a work itself. For the body of work I believe becomes a work on its own or rather of its own. You have to know where your work is...I read that somewhere that that is part of being a serious artist, a real artist, caring enough about it all to know where each work is, like a child. That analogy now comes to mind.

I see these three forms, Spirit, Soul and Ghost being fabricated possibly out of well I can't think of the material it's like plastic but sturdy. I see the forms huge and bringing joy to passers by. Perhaps in several locations around the world. It's a dream. I guess I have goals well I was going to say being in the Venice Bienale but then again Trent Reznor was never in that show. It can't in the end come down to any of these so called milestones on their own. I think they may someday give me a realistic goal. And that's okay. But the passion has to be there regardless of the shows. It would, or might be nice to be in that show. It does seem SEEM to indicate success. All of that aside though my goals right now are so much smaller. I just want to have a good local show in a nice space with a good vibe. That's where I'm at right now. And right now that is Ohio. Wow I just had a moment like don't be naive, you have to be in NYC to make it, to be where it's all going on, where the books are made.

I have wanted to think that if your work is good it will just make it somehow. But honestly it seems to be quite different from that on the whole after spending even a very little bit in NYC.

I should have had more comfidence on myself in my youth, but what is beautiful is that I have that chance now.

There is still a chance for me. I hope.

Looking into my present. Beautiful.

ps. I am not saying that I am a larger than life personality like Johnny Cash, just that his way of terming the simple yet complex nature of his work appeals to me as a star to shoot for.